Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Tuesday, December 24, 2013


So you decided to label the poor girl who can barely talk in front of the class as freak. She has a really high anxiety level and her family is forcing her to try out for the school musical's lead part. That girl wearing all black and crying, you label her as emo. Her best friend just committed suicide after he saved her life a few years before. She found out over Facebook. That boy you just called faggot. His family is homophobic and he's scared to come out to them because they'll kick him out. That football player that lives a perfect life that you hate, he's being beaten at home. The popular girl who just called you a slut, she lost her virginity, and is trying to figure out how to tell her boyfriend and her parents that she's pregnant. You may think that the people around you can be narrowed down to just one thing but they can't. That girl with the blue hair who listens to all that alternative music, she's an amazing friend who  is just trying to be herself. That guy you just told to go kill himself, he had been writing a list of ten different ways to kill himself for weeks; you just pushed him over his breaking point. The people around you have complicated stories so before you label them ask them or walk away.

Monday, December 23, 2013


Many people say that holiday's are the best time of the year because you get to be reunited with your families. What about those people who's families have decided that they're not good enough or that they are a freak. I'm going to tell you a little story about my mom and then I'll explain why I don't like holiday's with my family by mentioning a few things about the rest of my family.
My mom kidnapped me when I was 4 after walking out on us. When I was 5 courts decided that I was to live with her. When I was six she got engaged to step-dad #3 and we moved in with him. When I was 7 he started sexually abusing me. When I was 8 my mom found out about him sexually abusing me. When I was 9 the cops were called for the first time. When I was 10 the second. When I was 11 one of my friend found out and reported it. From the time I was 8-10 they beat me and locked me in my room just because I wanted to go outside for some fresh air. She refused to let me read, or live a life. I wasn't allowed to have friends. When her mom bailed her out of jail the day after I turned 12, she got married to dad #4. Few months later they split, she went to Vegas and married dad #5. A few weeks later they split and she married dad #6. I'm pretty sure I'm on dad #9 now but I'm not fully sure. She's proudly admitted to my face that I was a mistake and that I was never supposed to exist.
Now think about my entire family as close minded, homophobic, Christians who insist that you also be Christian and you'll have my family. I personally believe more in the Pagan views. Holidays haven't ever been pleasant because all my family tries to do is change me. Maybe I'm happy being who I am.

Holiday Statement

The Suicide Talk Rant. (Inspidred because of my best friend)

So you decided that you were going to go off and tell someone that they should just go and die in a hole? Why though just so you could feel better about yourself? I've known plenty of people who actually followed through with their suicide threats. You think you know what their life is like? Well it's very clear that you don't because you would have never said that if you did. What if they were just looking for one more excuse to go and actually kill themselves? It'd be considered your fault. Do you really want that? Now let's put you in their shoes. Pretend that you get yelled at every night by your parents to do things that you really don't want to do. Pretend that you get abused and bullied by your siblings. Pretend that school is a safe place for you and then someone who you barely know comes up to you and says "go die in a hole bitch." School's no longer safe, your house isn't safe. You don't know where you'll be safe again but you know that you want to feel safe. It seems too late though. What if a guy seemed to be the strongest guy on earth. What if he was being bullied. What if he had been bullied since he started kindergarten. What if he was in a bad home situation? What if you said one nasty thing about his height, hair color, eyes, personality, ect. What if the next day he was gone. Imagine how his family and friends are feeling. How are you feeling? What if these both actually happened to someone you knew. Would you think twice about saying something?

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Fashion Statement

Band/Idol Statement

The Start of My Ranting.

So for those of you who either don't know, or haven't cared to find out before, my name is Sarah. I'm a high school sophomore who is Pansexual, in the music program, and has dealt with bullying before. I live to have my best friend Chris' memory live on after he committed suicide because of bullying. Bullying isn't something I take lightly. I also don't like it when people say that "that's gay" or whatever else. I'm a strong gay rights activist along with a strong anti-bullying campaign activist. Basically my entire life is devoted to making sure that my life goes on to support others around me. I've got one novel that's almost ready for publishing done, and am starting on my second novel. I'm one of those kinds of girls who will take a book over a trip to the mall. I'm a girl that when I'm at the mall I'm at Hot Topic buying either band merchandise or Fandom junk. Basically I accept that I'm a nerd and that's just apart of who I am. I'm fully okay with you thinking I'm a freak or a weirdo. I'm completely okay with it. Grow up and realize that your words no longer can hurt me. I've been put on suicide watch before because at one pointe in time I was extremely suicidal. That was before I discovered Black Veil Brides, Paramore, and My Chemical Romance. Those bands help keep me floating in a happier blissful place. It's just a part of who I am to say you know what fuck off because you can't say that I'm not perfect. I'm a recovering anorexic, I've self-harmed in the past, I try my best to be a person that people come talk to though. I know what you're going through.